


Wishful Thinking

by Anki_Shai



Category: Bleach
Genre: AU, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-24
Updated: 2012-10-24
Packaged: 2017-11-16 23:17:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/544917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anki_Shai/pseuds/Anki_Shai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finding what you want is a complete different thing from finding what you need. Rangiku and Toshiro would have to figure this out before either one of them end up with a broken heart and more than physical wounds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pretending is easier

**Author's Note:**

> Before you read, however, I have to warm you that my native language is not English so I apologize beforehand for any grammar, spelling or other funy mistake you may find here.
> 
> For now, read and enjoy!

**Wishful Thinking**

**Chapter 1**

**Pretending is easier**

 

 

Maybe there was something wrong with her.

There must be, for the most important men in her life to overlook her, ignore her and, in the end, discharge her.

Should she be grateful they didn't look at her like a piece of meat? They had never looked at her with an improper leer or a stare filled with lust. If anything they held a trace of affection and some respect inside their eyes, they would never dedicate her the same stare other males in Seireitei did.

Why did Gin never try to be more straight-forward? Did he share her bed because it was convenient? Did he really love her? Did he love her as more than 'Ran-chan', the little girl he once saved, the friend, the woman that sometimes was a sibling, a comrade a lover?

Gin had left without having the courtesy to answer those questions. He left Rangiku wondering, with her heart aching for answers. Rangiku sighed tilting her head to the side as her eyes wandered to the figure in front of her.

If Gin had left Rangiku with a sense of uncertainty the man lying on the bed had her hanging over the edge of a high cliff.

Rangiku let out the air she had been holding since entering the room. Her eyes taking in the wounded form of her Taichou. The young man who was looking paler than ever, with an oxygen mask on his face and bandages covering each and every wound on his body.

He looked fragile, almost defeated.

The burning sensation in her eyes told Rangiku the blurring image was due to the tears forming in her eyes. Lifting her hand she tried to wipe them away before they had the chance to roll down her cheeks. Her Taichou needed someone strong, ready to carry the burden of his unconsciousness; he didn't need a weakling that would cry and whine about what had happened.

Once again, she was being a disappointment to him.

Moving from her spot under the threshold she took tentative and hesitant steps inside the hospital room. The more she walked inside the room she could sense the weak but constant presence of her taichou's reiatsu. It was touching hers, invitingly almost seductive as Rangiku approached him.

Now, close to his face, she could notice the small frown adorning his otherwise relaxed features. His arms were resting on top of the thin sheet to each side of his body, there was an IV feeding him some kind of drug. With a trembling hand Rangiku let her fingertips caress the cold, soft texture of her taichou's hand. In a bold movement she grabbed it between hers squeezing lightly while a sigh of relief left her lips.

There was nothing more real than her taichou's hand between hers, the feeling off his reiatsu caressing hers. Rangiku let her thumb caress Toshiro's hand, her eyes taking in every single inch of expose skin and covered wounds.

Toshiro, just like Hinamori, Ukitake, Kira, Soi Fon, Iba and so many others had been taken almost immediately to the Fourth. As soon as everyone breathed a sigh of relief at Aizen's dismissed. Rangiku had made sure her taichou was the first of the two of them to receive treatment; after all, thanks to Kira she was more or less heal. Her taichou however…

"You can talk to him, you know?" Rangiku turned around startled, her heart beating fast and her face frozen in a deer-caught-in-the-headlights expression.

Unohana Retsu was standing by the door; her expression was softened by what she saw inside Rangiku's eyes. The tenderness with which she was grabbing the young Captains hand. You have to be a fool not to notice the feelings hiding behind those grey eyes.

It took Rangiku a moment; she lowered her head shaking it before letting go of her taichou's hand. Turning her body to face Unohana she smiled sadly, shrugging a little.

"No, I think…I'm not…" She turned to her taichou then back to Unohana. "It's not my voice he wants to hear. Either way, I better go, there is a lot of work back at the division and with Taichou here…I'm the one who has to do it. I can't let his division go any further without some order."

Unohana watched the retreating form of Matsumoto Rangiku; the woman turned her head to watch the still unconscious Toshiro.

"I've never seen her move so fast to get to work, Hitsugaya-taichou." She eyed the boy, her voice soothing but firm. "I wonder, if you ever notice the way she looks at you."

And, with that said, Unohana turned around and left.

* * *

Two days later Hitsugaya Toshiro woke up.

It took him about the same time to leave everything in order back at his division before disappearing to a secure, secret location. Toshiro wasn't the only one who would disappear for long periods of time to train, to become stronger. But, he was the only one Rangiku cared about.

She cared enough to follow him once in a while; she would never get close enough for him to sense her completely. Rangiku was careful enough to stay out of the way; she would hide behind some trees her back resting on their trunks while she felt the cold and windy atmosphere around her. Sometimes, if she was lucky, she would feel the tender caress of her taichou's reiatsu on her.

Today was one of those days in which it was only the two of them. When her taichou's presence would overwhelmed her in a way she always enjoyed or feared.

However, Rangiku didn't know if she should be feeling happy or worried. By the sounds coming from the cave she noticed her taichou wasn't in a pretty good mood. Rangiku could feel his spiritual pressure wavering, getting weaker or stronger as he kept pressing himself further into training.

Why did it hurt so much? Why couldn't the pain inside her chest just…go away?

_It's so cold! Why are we even here, Rangiku?_

The woman wrapped her arms around her, her lips moving up to form a crooked smile directing her attention to her irritated zanpakutou. Haineko had been so silent lately her voice was like a refreshing cup of sake after a long afternoon of hard work.

' _Can you tell, Haineko? Taichou is down there…'_

Haineko huffed before settling herself lazily, closing her eyes while pretending to be asleep. The zanpakutou hid pretty well the fact she was worried about Rangiku. The end of the Winter War had made wounds that went beyond the physical body, it hurt the souls of those involved in it. Haineko opened one eye sighing, Rangiku was still hurting but her only worry, the only thing in her mind was the man training like a mad man inside the cave.

Even if Rangiku wanted to hide it and even denied it, Haineko knew better and she knew her mistress was hurting really bad right now. Rangiku was at the edge of a precipice with apparently no one to pull her back to notice just how much she needed to be saved.

Whether Haineko liked it or not, the only one with the power to push her or safe her was the man hidden away inside the cave.

There was a sudden flick of reiatsu followed by a scream of pain. Rangiku was running as fast as she could, biting her lower lip as the biting cold scratch her warm skin. It didn't take her too long to locate her taichou. The young man was on the ground, ice covering part of his body while his blood was spilled all over the place.

"Taichou!" She was on him in record time, the sting of tears burning in her eyes as she took in the fragile and bloodied form of the young man in front of her. He was unconscious, the wounds being covered by the ice.

She thanked silently at Hyourinmaru who seemed to be acting on his own, trying to keep Toshiro's blood at bay. Matsumoto took off her scarf and placed it on top of the bigger wound, the one that hadn't heal completely after Aizen's attack.

"Silly, taichou." Rangiku held the tears trying to roll down her cheeks and she held the sob trying to escape her lips. "Why did you have to do this just after you left the Fourth?"

There was certain tenderness behind Rangiku's touch, even if she didn't notice what she was doing Hyourinmaru and Haineko were paying close attention. The ice covering Toshiro's body started cracking, falling to the ground as Matsumoto lifted him on her arms.

Hyourinmaru felt a new sense of respect towards Matsumoto; he had never seen so much care directed at his master in the way the woman was showing. Her reiatsu was enveloping his master without overwhelming his own spiritual pressure. She was trying to protect him.

 _Where is she taking my master, Haineko?_ The ash-cat lowered her head uncomfortably while trying to not feel intimidate by the ice dragon.

_She is taking him to a save house. We haven't been there since…_

Haineko didn't say anything else but, at some point, Hyourinmaru understood. The ice dragon didn't know if he would like to go to some place where Ichimaru Gin and Shinsou had been before, he knew his master would hate it but right now what Toshiro needed was the woman holding him on her arms.

* * *

The place was at the outskirts of one of Rukongai districts, it was a small cottage hidden behind a dense forest. The place was just as Rangiku had left it months ago. There was some dust here and there but the essentials were still in place. Rangiku hesitated before placing her captain on the futon with Hyourinmaru just beside him.

There was some heaviness in her movements, a sign of tiredness that wasn't there before. Her eyelids felt heavy, her feet were aching but she just stood up and went to a small cupboard where she had some supplies mainly tea, sake and some other stuff enough to get through at least three days. For a second Rangiku's eyes focused on a jar containing her favorite tea. She had written down her name on it and as her hand moved to the jar she could almost hear the mocking sound of Gin's voice inside her head.

" _Uh? Gyokuro? Since when do you drink this?"_

_ Rangiku gritted her teeth when she felt the warm in her cheeks, lowering her head so Gin couldn't notice the blush forming there she answer trying to act distractedly. _

" _I don't know what are you talking about…I just…bought it."_

" _Uh-uh, it looks eerie familiar, Ran-chan. Ain't this the one your lil' taichou drinks?"_

Rangiku shook her head in an attempted to scare away the memories as she returned her attention to the mission at hand. Once she put some water on the improvised stove, she went to another small cupboard she had near the futon. In there she found something else that would help her out: bandages, medicine and that special ointment she stole from Ikkaku.

Rangiku kneeled beside Toshiro taking off his haori first, making sure she fondled it neatly and place it beside her Captain. Her hand stopped mid-way, trembling lightly showing signs of hesitation. The woman couldn't help but chuckled softly, shaking her head in an incredulous gesture.

This was absurd.

Her taichou was unconscious, hurt and probably needed her help and her support and there she was, being selfish, thinking about her own feelings. With a determination flashing in her gray eyes she untied his obi to make it easier to remove his kosode. There were some cuts there, scratches, blood and the wound inflicted by Aizen had opened slightly.

She tended to his wounds cleaning them carefully before applying some of the ointment she got from Ikkaku before covering them with some of the bandages. Once she was done she put some bed sheets on top of her taichou making him as comfortable as she could.

 _Rangiku?_ There was an unasked question behind Haineko's tone; Rangiku shook her head making it clear with her silence she wasn't ready to talk yet.

"What do you say if we drink some tea before taking a nap?" Asked Matsumoto to her zanpakutou, Haineko snorted placing her head on top of her front paws.

_I'm taking the nap now. Maybe later you can answer me what you never answered Gin._

Rangiku snorted while serving some tea in her favorite cup, Gin's voice echoing inside her head.

" _Ne, Ran-chan, do you love your taichou?"_


	2. Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A River in Egypt...

He opened his eyes startled.

His muscles protested at the sudden movement, his eyes closed as soon as they registered a soft light near them. He took a deep breath to shut up the moan threatening to escape his mouth. The pain was bearable if he didn't move, speak, or even breathe.

Yes, bearable. A deep, hoarse voice commented dryly inside Hitsugaya Toshiro's head. The young Captain of the Tenth Division proceeded to open his eyes again, this time slowly and methodically.

I hope, Master, that you aren't feeling too crappy so I can berate you for your irresponsible behavior.

The concern was well-hidden behind the dry tone and those words brought a soft, genuine smile to Toshiro. It was always a relief when his zanpakutou was worried about him.

"What happened? Where am I?" Toshiro couldn't help but frown as his voice sounded tired, filled with pain. The ice dragon remained silent as his young Master shifted slowly to his side; he was struggling to sit up when his eyes fell on the sleeping form of his fukutaichou.

The woman had fallen asleep with her back resting against the closest wall; her head hanging to one side while her arms rested neatly on her lap. Hyourinmaru stirred with curiosity as his master obliged himself to stare at the woman sleeping in front of him.

Matsumoto looked pale; she had bags under her eyes - a sign she had been awake until recently. Her hair was disheveled, her clothes had fallen open showing more cleavage than usual (which was a whole lot).

Rangiku's face is a little higher than the spot you're looking at so intently, Toshiro. The young man felt his cheeks warm at the teasing tone in Hyourinmaru's voice. Toshiro turned his head sharply with indignation as he frowned to the ceiling.

You better start controlling that temper of yours, Toshiro. You're freezing her.

Toshiro turned, once again, to face Matsumoto and for the first time he noticed her lightly shivering, lips tinged blue and teeth chattering. Feeling heaviness on his muscles, a sign he was just recovering from his injuries, Toshiro finally stood up.

With some hesitation and a lot of question on his mind, Toshiro approached the woman with a trembling hand. His fingertips brushed Matsumoto's warm skin as he observed her with a confused frown. She had an expression of pure tiredness. If he was honest with himself, he had only seen his fukutaichou this tired twice. Both times Ichimaru Gin had been the one to blame for her lack of real rest.

For some reason he couldn't understand, Toshiro clenched his fist while evading his fukutaichou's face. Just how bad was the hold the man had on Matsumoto?

It wasn't Ichimaru, you know? This time, the state she is in isn't because of him. She is this tired because of you.

Toshiro almost gasped at the sight of his zanpakutou's materialized form standing beside him. The man looked down to his Master before kneeling beside the woman and picking her up in his arms.

"I could…I should be doing that." Hyourinmaru raised an eyebrow, his eyes gleaming with interest and amusement.

And, why is that, Toshiro? The young man stared at Hyourinmaru, well-aware he was feeling a wave of embarrassment coming from him. Why, indeed?

"I…I just thought…" Toshiro felt an eyebrow twitch when he heard the soft chuckled coming from Hyourinmaru. "She is my fukutaichou! It's my duty!"

Of course, of course… that's why I'm helping you. Since I'm your zanpakutou it shouldn't be a problem, right?

Toshiro opened his mouth only to close it again, with a heavy sigh he shrugged. "I guess not."

But, even as he said it his teal eyes were following Hyourinmaru very closely. The zanpakutou grabbed the woman tenderly, bringing her closer to his chest before kneeling on the futon and placing her there with a gentleness Toshiro didn't know his zanpakutou possessed.

There was an unpleasant feeling awakening in him at the sight of Hyourinmaru's hand brushing aside Matsumoto's bangs. He neared them both, kneeling beside Hyourinmaru, tilting his head to the side. Toshiro saw his haori and it was at that moment he noticed the state he was in. He was only with his hakama pants; his chest was naked save for the bandages on the places where he had hurt himself.

She took of your kosode so she could take care of your wounds. You overexerted yourself; you were bleeding and unconscious when she got there.

Toshiro turned to look at Hyourinmaru with open, curious eyes. Hyourinmaru had never shown this kind of care or respect to someone besides Toshiro. While the dragon held some protective instincts thanks to his own master's feelings, they had always been limited by the dragon's own will. Right now, Hyourinmaru was showing Hitsugaya something he had never shown toward anyone in the way he was caring for Matsumoto.

Respect and protectiveness. But above all else, there was affection.

Just, what the hell happened while he was out? And why did his zanpakutou seem so fond of the woman? Why…why was he…? Toshiro shook his head; thoughts that he had never allowed in him were trying to get back. This time in the form of his zanpakutou instead of that of Ichimaru Gin.

Toshiro staggered slowly to the bed, his eyes drifting to his haori resting neatly beside the futon he had been resting on. Taking it with him he covered Rangiku making sure the woman was warm enough without waking her up. Rangiku shivered under the weight of the bed covers and the haori, snuggling closer while nuzzling the haori. A soft, gentle smile drew on her face.

"Toshiro…" Both Toshiro and Hyourinmaru gasped, staying completely still as the woman rolled over to her side after mumbling Toshiro's name.

"I think…I…need to go back to the Tenth." Toshiro stood up rather hastily looking around for his clothes while evading the piercing stare Hyourinmaru was directing his way.

Master… Hyourinmaru watched as his Master moved around trying to evade any kind of confrontation. His movements were filled with a giddiness Hyourinmaru knew too well. The same kind Toshiro always used around his fukutaichou, Matsumoto Rangiku; the same giddiness he used when in denial.

Master, I think… Hyourinmaru shut up as he felt the sudden flickering on his Master's reiatsu.

Toshiro shook his head clenching his fist while snapping his head to the side, teal eyes devoid of any light as he glanced at some point on the ground.

"Let's go back." Toshiro picked up his worn and quite damage kosode and put it on. "My division needs me."

Before Hyourinmaru returned to his sealed form he saw out of the corner of his eye the reason behind the sudden change. There, resting on top of a coffee table with freshly placed chrysanthemums was a picture of Ichimaru Gin holding Matsumoto in a rather intimate way. The ice dragon couldn't help the bitter smile that appeared on his face.

So his master was in denial after all.


End file.
